September 15, 2006
How crazy old coots get to be senators and other annoying bits of trivia about Ted Stevens
Ted Stevens, the infamous senator from Alaska, has become my least favorite person on earth. He narrowly won this honor from last year's sole nominee and grand prize winner, a certain eloquent, oil wealthy cowboy from Texas who warms the Oval office desk chair with all his gang of warmongers. For those of you not familiar with the illustrious career of Mr. Stevens, I'll elaborate briefly.
He holds the dubious title of currently being the longest serving Republican senator in the senate, beginning in 1968 (the same year that brought us Nixon- coincidence?). The fact that the people of Alaska have seen fit to keep Ted Stevens in office all these years gives me serious doubt about the wisdom of leaving a wealth of national wilderness in their care.
In October, 2005 he had a hissy fit on the floor of the senate when the suggestion was made that funds (223 million to be exact) for a "pork barrel" project now referred to as "The Bridge to Nowhere" should be diverted to help aid recovery from Hurricane Katrina. Stevens threatened to quit Congress if the funds were removed from his state. Ah, if only we could have been so lucky.
Senator Stevens is also the source of the most widely quoted explanation of the internets, which he referred to as "a series of tubes.". Give the guy a break, though. He's been in the Senate since 1968- he might have missed some stuff while he was busy misdirecting government funds.
Recently, a bill with wide support in the Senate called the "Federal Funding Accountability and Transparency Act," which would require the full disclosure of all entities or organizations receiving federal funds beginning in fiscal year (FY) 2007 on a website maintained by the Office of Management and Budget, was mysteriously blocked by an anonymous senator. The sentor refused to come forward until several watchdog websites contacted various senators and got them to issue statements attesting that they did NOT block the bill. It was narrowed down to four sentors when none other than- you guessed it!- Ted Stevens, admitted to being the secret asshole. Sorry Ted, but it wasn't much of a secret to begin with.
On an interesting sidenote- In December 1978, Stevens survived the crash of a Lear Jet at what would later be named the Ted Stevens Anchorage International Airport, which killed five people, including his first wife, Ann. And you know it has to be said... we came THIS close to a world without Ted Stevens.
Posted by Kaz at September 15, 2006 4:37 PMIn the interest of Full disclosure Kaz, let's not forget the other individual who tried to stop the "Federal Funding Accountability Act and Transparancy Act" from getting passed. That would be Mr. Robert C Byrd (D-W Virginia) who was first elected to the Senate in 1958! Both Parties are horrible act controling spending, and these two are the worst of the lot of them, with Byrd being the slightly worse one of the two. Everyone, VOTE LIBERTARIAN!
Posted by: Arron at September 16, 2006 10:37 PMIf I was doing a piece about the Federal FUnding Accountability Act I would have certainly mentioned Senator Byrd (and a multitude of puns about his last name). But since this piece is soley about Ted Stevens, I didn't want to wander off the subject. However, I did post links so people could check out the full story themselves. I don't know much about Byrd, but if you are concerned about how has the worst track record, go to ontheissues.com for a complete rundown of their voting history and ratings by major groups like the ACLU.
Posted by: kaz at September 17, 2006 8:01 AM