Wanderlust

Mild case of death

So Owen, who showed some promise of improving earlier in the week, took a sudden nose dive yesterday. His temperature soared to 104 and higher through Wednesday night and Thursday afternoon. I juggled work to take off the afternoon and rush him to the doctor, who recommended we consider hospitalization if Owen did not improve by morning. They administered an antibiotic shot, gave us a prescribed topical ointment for teething pain, and told us to continue to give him Ibuprofen and keep him comfortable. I arranged to work from home today so I could make the decision in the am whether or not we'd be going to the hospital.

Within hours of the shot, Owen's nasal discharge went from yellow to clear again and his breathing returned to something resembling normal. Although he's still struggling with ear and teething pain, his fever has stayed low grade through the night. So I think, for now, we're out of the woods. I'll truly believe it when we make it through the weekend without Ibuprofen.

It's official!

It's official, Owen has RSV. For what that is, check out these links. It is a virus and it is pretty common in Utah. He got it from his babysitters son, no surprise there. It is extremely contagious and I wish we would have had an RSV test last week.

I stayed home again today to chill with Owen and to go to the Doctor. We had a 2:30 appointment so I missed work completely. We went to see our really awesome Pediatrician. I highly recommend him, that is if you live in Utah near us. Anyways, he knew what was going on right away, ordered a test and got the diagnosis. Simple, and easy. Unfortunately the only thing to do is to wait it out and get a snot sucker, which is a pump that sucks all the stuff out of your nose. We had one delivered tonight from Praxair, a medical rental company, and it works awesome. Here is a link to an Aspirator pump. Looks similar to the one we got.

So the good thing is that we can all go back to work, and Owen can go to his babysitter. Since her kid has RSV, it won't matter Owen is still sick. His ears hurt bad from the ear infection, but he seems to be doing better today. I guess we will wait it out and get him to drink fluids and sleep and all that stuff that comes with a sick kid (including the industrial snot sucker). The only problem I see is that Kaz and I are sick and I got a little cough that won't go away with a sore throat. I guess I'm almost happy I got to stay home today because I feel bad. But I need to go to work to get some things done; I've missed too much work as it is.

I hope we all will feel better by this weekend, it's supposed to get up into the high 70's. And after it's snowed and been in the 50's this past week, I'm ready for some real spring time fun.

Letters to the O

Fifteen Months

This past month has been a whirlwind, not only because of the dramatic changes we have perhaps foolishly introduced into our lives, but also because you have suddenly turned into a little boy. In the past few weeks you have begun to talk like a real bona fide person. Your favorite phrase is "What's that?," repeated endlessly, accompanied by the pointing of a straight little finger and an insatiable curiosity. Your exploding vocabulary includes words like car, cheerios, hat, "up, up," and "night, night." My favorite has to be your new found passion for hide and seek and the resulting exclamation of "there he is!" when you've been found.

Deciding to place you into someone else's care was a difficult situation and I was surprised to realize that in the end, you made the choice. We went to lots of places, some dirty and horrible, some bare and noisy, and you clung to the close vicinity of my kneecaps and would venture no farther, silent and withdrawn. When we finally found a comfortable home with nice people and agreeable children, you wandered away from my lap within the first several minutes, smiling and babbling. You were even, in fact, reluctant to leave. The first day when I picked you up to go home you wouldn't look at me for the first several minutes, as if you were uncertain it was acceptable to forgive me for my gross negligence in leaving you in someone else's home, no matter how wonderful, the ENTIRE day. But then you approached me with your shoe, placed it in my lap, leaned over so you could peer into my face as I sat cross legged on the floor, and smiled broadly. "Hi!" you said and squirmed into the scoop of my lap as if you had never left.

We also took you camping for the first time this month. You were a much better traveler when you were a baby, quiet and easily preoccupied. Now you fuss and long for the space to stretch and can not be distracted from your discomfort by the familiarity of toys. When we finally reached the campsite and deposited you in the red dust, you seemed unable to believe your good fortune. An entire evening to walk around gathering as much dirt as possible into the crevices of your pants and chin folds? Bitchin. But by the end of the weekend you were wandering around the site as if it were a wasteland, cold, dirty and missing the freedom of a house full of toys tailored exclusively to your gooeyness.

I think I will always remember this month though as the time when you were monumentally sick. Battling double ear infections, a croupy cough, and fluid in your lungs, your fever raged on and on. Your father and I did a juggling act to stay home with you, struggling to help you recuperate. After several days we ended up in the ER one night, frightened by your shallow breathing and continued fever. Through it all, while you may have fussed and endured resentfully, we could always manage to glean a smile or a giggle. In the waiting room at 10:30 pm after they stuck you with a steroid shot, you and your father had a fabulous belly laugh repeating the word "Fluff" over and over (your version sounds more like "fvuff"). And just today, worried about your continued fever and congestion, I took you to bed with me and we vegetated, watching TV for nearly two hours. I attempted to sit you up to allow you to play with some toys from under the covers but you protested until I laid you back down against my chest, where you fell asleep, snoring through the snot, your forehead warm and cheeks flushed. I felt so amazingly grateful that out of all the people in the world, I was the one that had the power to comfort you, even if it meant that I had to be a human tissue. As we're quickly learning, parenting is all about trade-offs. This is one I was happy to make.

Where are you?

Where to begin. It's been a crazy two weeks. I guess I will start with about two weeks ago.

Two weeks ago we cleaned out the garage and cleaned out the camping stuff. Why the camping stuff? Because last weekend we were in Moab. More on that later. So most of that week, Kaz prepared for camping and prepared to join to workforce. As the camping stuff was organized and packed, Kaz had a trial run at the babysitter's house. It went well and by the end of the week, we all were ready for some camping.

On Friday we left for Moab, or more specifically, Arches National Park. The scenery looked very prehistoric, and camping with a 15 month old was interesting. It went much better than we expected, but we learned that you need to let little kids walk. And when I say walk, I mean you can't let the little one sit in the car seat, or in the backpack for longer than an hour or two. Because 15 month olds need to walk. They don't need to play necessarily, they just need to walk. And when they walk, they need to be allowed to walk anywhere they want. Or fussiness will ensue. So we had lots of little breaks of us following him around and turning him around when he went to close to something bad, like the road, or a large cliff.

We haven't camped for almost two years, and we had an excellent time. Owen did really great and seemed to like camping. He generally likes being outdoors so camping is perfect. He even put a hole in his boots from walking so much. He enjoyed his backpack, and even fell asleep a couple of times in it as we hiked and climbed over huge boulders. We've got a ton of pictures, and will post a bunch when things are a little more normal. Read on....

On the way back, the truck started to act up and seemed like it was losing power. It was a nerve racking ride home, I really didn't want to be stuck on the side of the road with all of our camping gear, smelling like poo because none of use have had a shower in over two days. Not fun. But we made it back okay, and the truck is parked, waiting to be diagnosed. I think it is either the fan clutch, a misfiring pistons, or an O2 sensors. O2 sensors are on order, hopefully that will make it work.

So this past Monday, Kaz started her new job, and Owen started at his babysitter. Everything seemed great, and we all were anxious to see if this conversion to Stay-at-Home Mom to Working-Mom will work for us.

On Tuesday, the babysitter called to say that her kid has been diagnosed with RSV, which is a nasty highly contagious virus that most kids in Utah get before they are 3. So I took Owen to the doctor, who was a dick, to see if Owen was okay. As we waited in the office, Owen's cough seemed to get worse and was becoming plemmy. Owen got a chest X-ray and had a little fluid in his lungs, and the doctor, who was a dick, said he didn't think Owen had RSV but it either a virus or bacteria. The Doctor, who was a dick (I am still upset about his dickiness), gave us a prescription for some powerfull antibiotic.

We decided to keep Owen at home, which means one of us gets to stay home from work. As you may know, Kaz's job will eventually transform into a home office type job, but it's her first week. So I stayed home. During Wednesday, it actually snowed about 2-3" and about 1-2" that night. While Owen and I had a good time, Owen was getting sicker.

On Thursday, I stayed home in the morning, and then we transfered the bundle of joy in back of Kaz's office so I could work. I worked late, and when I got home, Owen was a mess (except he did smile and say night-night to me). We waited to give him his antibiotic because we didn't think he was that sick, and we aren't going to pour that shit down his throat because some dickhead doctor wasn't sure what was going on. But since he was getting worse, obviously he needed some help in the form of medicine.

Since the antibiotic is potent, it made Owen puke that, his supper, and his Tylenol everwhere. In his high chair, the bathtub, and the shower. And on Kaz. Everywhere. Owen was breathing fast and short and sounded like shit. Since he wasn't keeping things down, we decided, after some advice, to take him to the hospital emergency room at 8:30pm. He needed fluids, and some medicine, because we weren't sure about making it through the night.

The Doctor looked him over and discovered, in addition to the nasty cough, runny nose, little fluid in the lungs and fever, that Owen had an ear infection. So basically, Owen top half is infected, with either a bacteria, or virus. The Doctor said it didn't matter which, the treatment is the same. The Doctor was awesome and gave Owen a shot of steroids to open his wind pipe, and a prescription for antibiotic that doesn't make kids puke over everything. I think we were all in bed by 11pm, which I was happy about.

Kaz lucked out and her boss let her work from home on Friday. So I got to go to work, but, I woke up with a nasty sore throat. And I cough. And a slightly runny nose. So I worked, but came home early so I could vegetate with the family.

Today Owen's seems better, still sick but getting better. Kaz might have a cold as well. So I guess now the dogs are going to get sick and we will all have to be quarantined so not to infect the world with our germs.

The past two weeks has been a test for the whole family. The dogs haven't been walked in a week and are wondering what the hell is going on with this family. And with Kaz's new job, we all have to step up to maintain a family and a household. Owen has surprised me the most. Through all of the changes, he seems pretty damm happy. Even when he was at the hospital, he was goofing around and smiling. He seems to be a really happy kid, and can roll with whatever Kaz and I throw at him. He rarely gets really fussy, and when he does, it's because of hunger, tired, Mommy not around, or he got in trouble for sticking he gooey fingers where they shouldn't be (I can tell the tantrums are around the corner). And not to get too sentimental, but through all of this crap, it's been really cool to be a parent and a family. I'm starting to realize why all those people say stupid things about how great their family is and it's so great and wonderful blah blah blah.... Having a kid it the most stupid wonderful thing I've ever did...

Land Line

This morning we had a land line installed. The first time in our house, and first time in 1 1/2 years. I feels weird to have such old technology in the house. We've been using cell phones for so long, it seems pointless to have a land line. What's funny is that I wasn't sure where the phone jacks were in the house. We had to look around to see if there was one installed in the office.

The cool thing about this land line is that it is through Comcast Cable. The phone actually comes over the cable and is not an IP phone. It's pretty cool and geeky. So at least we aren't using the POT's (Plain Old Telephone, an actual electrical engineering term) system anymore.

We got the land line for Kaz's job. Since she will eventually use the phone for her job, we had to get a land line. And ironically, a telemarketer just called. Since we have caller ID I didn't answer it. We don't even have the phone line 12 hours and stupid telemarketers are already calling. Hell, I don't even know our number yet!

9 to 5

About two weeks ago I accepted a position as a Student Progress Manager for Western Governors University, an exceptional online university offering degrees in business, technology and education. After being recommended for the position by our thoughtful friends Lauren & Scott, who also work for WGU, I was offered the job on the spot during my interview. It took George and I less than 24 hours to decided to take the offer, not only because the checkbook balance fluctuates as wildly as a seesaw from the beginning to the end of the week, but also because this particular job is a fabulous opportunity.

The fact that I'd be making a higher salary than I've previously managed to earn in my entire career is something of an incentive. I get to work with students to assist them in achieving their goal of obtaining a higher education and a better standard of living for themselves and their families, which is fairly gratifying from a job satisfaction standpoint. The fact that the position is heavily call based is something of a drawback for me, but it also relies solidly on exceptional organizational skills and most people who know me will understand that this appeals to me in the same way that color coding my shirts in the closet does. My training begins Monday, April 16th and because Lauren & Scott, who live a stone's throw from us, are headed not only in the same direction but to the exact same building, we'll get to reap the benefits of triple car pooling. But the best benefit of working at WGU for me will be that, after 3-6 months of training, I will be able to transfer to working full time from my home. IN MY PAJAMAS. And make the same amount of money. This will have such amazing repercussions for Owen in the long run and our wallets in the short run, that it has the capacity to utterly transform our current lives for the better. There's just one small thing...

That small, little gooey boy who toddles around the house in diapers and tries his best to sink puzzle pieces in the dog's dish and stick spoons in the humidifier fan. What, you ask, becomes of him? And this is what George and I have been agonizing over for the last two weeks. Finding someone we trust to care for Owen. This process was much harder and much more difficult emotionally than I ever imagined. I've driven across town several times to check out daycares, put half a dozen ads in Craig's List, interviewed nannies and babysitters galore. I went to places where I was afraid to set Owen on the floor because it was so dirty, watching snot run down baby's faces while caregivers passed by oblivious to their discomfort, not to mention my disgust. I went to places where every toy was broken, every book ripped, every kid running around like a maniac on fire. And this is where I confess that this is doubly hard for me because I've been on both sides of the fence. I've taught preschool and kindergarten for 10 years or more and I know the vast difference there is between the smiling, clean face that gets presented to prospective parents and the behind the scenes struggle with chaos that becomes each day's inevitability. And to leave Owen, a small little bundle of boy barely able to walk, alone in such a place was inconceivable to me. There had to be a better way.

After a lot of searching, emailing and appointments, I finally narrowed the field down to two choices. One, a full time but inexperienced and young nanny (this is the only kind of nanny we can afford, and just barely at that) or an in home care situation with a stay at home mom of two. George and I finally agreed on the latter. She lives in a new, CLEAN home on a quiet cul-de-sac and Owen would be the only other child besides her own 2.5 year old and 8 month old. There are no pets and while they don't have a yard yet, there's a park nearby. Most importantly, Owen seems to feel comfortable there and when we visited, it was the only place he ventured off my lap to play. He even played peekaboo with the older boy and waved goodbye when we left. It's barely five minutes from our house and a quick on/off from our route home. A nearly perfect situation except that it's not Mommy.

So in the next month, the rhythm of our lives is going to change dramatically but temporarily. Both George and I know that, as difficult as it will be for all of us, by the end of the summer, we'll hopefully have a work and financial situation that is ideal for everyone. And that's worth sacrificing for.