August 23, 2006
Baby Einstein
I recommend Baby Einstein not as an excellent educational tool (though it certainly is) or as a great way to trip out next time you've got some really great pot and some free time (although that sounds good, too). Baby Einstein is a sanity saver and my guilty pleasure. TV- modern society's universal babysitter.
Pop in a video and your infant, as young as three months, will roll their eyes up in their head and hang their tongue out of their mouth, unable to swallow their own drool. This parade of everyday toys and colorful objects is like LSD for babies. They eat this shit up! Watching a pinwheel spin or a chicken cluck- heaven on a stick. This adds to the guilt factor for parents since it seems less like educating your child's visual senses and more like drugging them into submission. You find yourself as a parent sounding alarmingly like a crack addict. "Just a little more and then I'll put it away. Just a little more..."
Baby Einstein videos are often set to classical music in an effort to persuade parents that they really are doing something good for their kids, like feeding them Cocoa Puffs with extra Vitamin C. The videos also prominently feature toys that the Baby Einstein company is quick to tell you (before and after the video) are available through their website in order to encourage babies to become consumers as soon as possible. But really here's the truth: It's TV and it's a great distraction when you need five minutes to shave your legs before someone at the grocery store calls "STAR" magazine to report a sighting of Bigfoot.
Posted by Kaz at August 23, 2006 2:02 PM